I'm sure there are worse things for me to look forward to - Day 17

Day 17: Something you're looking forward to

That's easy, retirement. I'm always looking forward to retirement.

It's still some 36 years away, but I daydream of it often.

I imagine my retirement will look something like The Golden Girls, meets Wings, meets Designing Women.

Yeah, I'll either retire in Miami with a group of friends ...



get a part-time gig conning Christmas presents out of unsuspecting travelers in a small Nantucket airport...



or be insightful like Bernice when properly medicated.



There's a slight chance my perception of retirement has been based on tv sitcoms from the late 1980's/early 1990's.

Trash chutes and ladders - Day 16

Day 16: Dream house

First and foremost, if we're talking dream home, it has to be a self-cleaning home. I HATE anything remotely related to housekeeping/household chores.

What next? Big enough to have friends and family over for parties and fun.

But not so big that I get lost in it.

A wrap-around porch would be totally sweet.

Definitely needs a nice view...

A badass backyard complete with outdoor kitchen, fire pit and outdoor seating.

Oh, the backyard also needs enough room for a big puppy to have fun.

Inside? I like a nice sized open kitchen with island/breakfast bar and appliance garage. 

A jacuzzi bathtub...

OH with a giant flat screen tv in front of it.

And probably a home theater for good measure too.

Oh, and I really liked it in college when my house had a trash chute, so that would be pretty essential too...so long as it wasn't just an open window I'm throwing trash bags down like it was back then.

3:16 - Day 15

Day 15: Bible verse

John 3:16 - For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life.

I know... I know...

This verse either reminds you of the wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin or seems like the easy answer because it's the most popular/recognizable bible verse in the history of favorite bible verses. You might be thinking, "Oh, she's catholic, she doesn't read the bible so that's why this is her 'favorite' verse." Two years ago you would have had something. (By the way, Mom hates it when I joke about catholics not having to read the bible.) But, I think the reason I wouldn't have claimed this as my favorite bible verse before is because I hadn't realized the truth in it yet.

As most of you know, my dad had a very quick and difficult battle with cancer. In the two months that he fought I received two, "It's not good, you might want to come home" phone calls. That's four hours in a car, each time, driving down the road wondering what will be there when I arrive.

At the very end, my family and I spent night and day at the hospital for four days. Each of us taking turns sleeping in various positions in a recliner, couch, roll-away bed or chair next to dad's bed. I probably would have done that forever if it meant I got to keep him here, but that was me being selfish.

The last night that he was with us here on Earth, that verse kept running through my head. "For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life." Three o'clock in the morning, with my head on his bed, holding his hand, listening to his raspy breathing, crying. In hindsight, probably one of the first times my heart was truly breaking. I was struggling with questions like, If God loves me so much why would he do this? Why would he let Dad suffer? Why would he let us live in a world were such feelings even existed?

And then it dawned on me.

God himself has felt this exact same heartbreak. "he gave his only Son." He knew exactly how my heart was feeling. Who better to turn to? He let His one and only Son be crucified on a cross so that some day a sinner like me, imperfect and too smart-mouthed for my own good, could join him for eternal life in Heaven. He knew I'd disappoint him, act ungrateful, fall down, repent and repeat. Yet He still loved me enough to make that sacrifice.

It's humbling to realize that kind of love.

Certainly, that night was difficult, but learning to live again afterwards was just as hard, if not harder. After all, the world is short one of my most favorite people in the whole world. But I keep this revelation close, believe with all my heart that Dad is home with God and trust some day we will be joined  together again in eternal glory.

DIBS! "Celebrity Edition" - Day 14

Day 14: Celebrity crush

Talk about a topic I can get on board with.

So many choices....

A sunflower iron-on bedazzlement will be awarded to the first reader who can correctly identify all ten celebrities or be the first to introduce me to one of the celebrity crushes.

I know I should have fixed my hair, removed the folded towels from behind me or at the very least done a less crappy photoshop job on this picture, but I'm too busy laughing at this to care.

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life - Day 13

Day 13: Goals

Seriously, how am I only on day 13 of this blog challenge? It feels like I've been doing this for 78 days.

I'm sure the originator of this topic list meant for me to talk about my goals to make me a better person, the world a better place and blah, but that's not really my thing. I put real effort into not telling people my goals until I hit them.

It limits liability.

Manages perception.

All that good stuff.

This blog challenge is a perfect example of what I generally try to avoid. If I hadn't told all 18 of you that I was going to do this thing I could just go back to being an absentee blogger or at least skip these lame-o topic days that do not interest me. Instead, I live with the guilt that if I bail on this y'alls will hold it over my head.

Which reminds me...

Way to bail on the 30-day blog challenge, Taddy Long Legs!

Sorry, where was I?

Oh yeah, goals = guilt.

But, for those of you who were hoping I put more effort and less smartass in this, here is a list of "goals" I want to or have accomplished in the recent past.

• Witness a real life bench clearing at a professional game, most likely baseball or hockey.
• Get back to my workout routine I had in 2009.
• Make one of the delicious dishes I have tagged from the Olive cookbook Becca bought me.
• Become a boss before 30. (check)
• Visit all 50 states in the US.
• Learn how to "dougie."
• See Eddie Money live in concert (check and check)
• Fix my stupid living room wall.
• Buy grown-up living room furniture since I've been lead to believe, by more than one person, that my idea of buying Furniture Fix for my couch is not what people call a "good idea." 

Even Dean Wormer would be proud of my ambition.

Music Monday

I dare you to not want to do the "Carlton Dance" while listening to this song.



Urkel gets close more than a few times.

Bottoms are good - Day 12

Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without

Ack! This post topic is nearly as boring as that first love one.

I guess if I'm being super literal, I'd have to say underwear. Does that make anyone uncomfortable? Seems silly if it does. I mean, wouldn't it be more unsightly the other way around? Oh wait, maybe this is why they are sometimes referred to as unmentionables...whoopsies.

I don't really have allegiance to any one product like American Express and I'm too poor to pay for something designer that would warrant flaunting every time I left home. I'm just enough scatter-brained that I'll leave home forgetting something and just convincing lazy enough to decide I don't want to turn back around and get it.

So yeah, this seems like the most appropriate response to this topic.

Honestly, sometimes I can't believe you people read this garbage.