Friday, April 29, 2011

Royal thoughts

6:00 am
Ok, I've been up since 3 am watching Royal Wedding coverage. I'm totally eating this all up. I'm certain I would have enjoyed living during the days of yore when Royals actually served a long as I could have been part of the royal court. Otherwise it probably wouldn't have been any fun. Oh and maybe also so long as I wasn't beheaded or burned in the town square or anything like that. I guess that could significantly alter my will to live back then.

I considered live blogging, but fine motor skills don't kick in until about 10 am. So here are some of the thoughts that have crossed my mind in the last 3 hours:

I love all of these hats!

The three girl cousins from Princess Diana's brother totally look like "The Girls Next Door."

Now that Prince William is off the market I would still totally settle for Prince Harry, he's cute and has a mostly full head of hair.

I'd let someone give me a Rolls Royce Phantom if they wanted to, that is a sharp looking automobile.

Pippa & Kate's dresses are super beautiful.

That has got to be the world's smallest wedding bouquet.

I really want to know what Prince Harry said to William as Kate was walking down the aisle and he had his back turned to her.

Why doesn't the groom get a ring?

Betwixt is such a great word. I'm definitely going to start using it more.

I wonder if Kate has or ever will suggest to William to just be done with it and shave his head?

I wonder if Prince William could pull off the completely bald look.

Prince/Duke Grandpa looks like he can party, I bet he's the highlight of the reception.

6:38 am
I need more coffee. Bring on cup #3.

I should have taken today off. Is it too late to call in "sick?"

7:34 am
Oh my gosh I feel asleep and almost missed the first kiss on the balcony! That would have been a disaster.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

Bravo Giants. Bravo.

I admit it, when my two oldest nieces showed me videos of Keenan Cahill lip-syncing I felt confused and saddened for the younger generation. But now, I TOTALLY get it.

I was sent a link to this bleacher report today and well...the magic below is about to blow your mind.

I'm so sad "Troy Tulo 'Party In The USA' Whiskey and Friends" team owner Amanda Gleason won't trade me Brian Wilson and that magnificent beard of his. Nobody else seems to want Cody Ross so that pickup shouldn't be a problem.

Next year I might only draft players with boss facial hair.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Thank you channel 225

My cable company switched their channel lineup over the weekend and I'm not sure if I gained more channels or if I just never knew I had some of these great entertainment venues. For instance, I discovered I have not one, but two PBS channels and BBC America!

I've already been telling people that I have Royal Wedding Fever and this my friends, is the PERFECT remedy. I fully intend to be up at 3 am watching pre-wedding coverage by people with actual british accents.

Double-extra-bonus-no-take-backs I now get to dvr The Graham Norton Show now too.

Monday, April 11, 2011

Music Monday

I don't know what it means that this is the song I want to listen to this morning, but I'm going with it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm about to rock some project status meetings this Monday morning.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Because sometimes I can't help but be a good friend

"My friend" Ashley loves Britney Spears. So when I saw the new Brit Brit video on perezhilton I posted the youtube video on her wall.

This is the response I got.

I aim to please folks. So here you go, Ashley, another post dedication delivered just for you.

If you want to show your gratitude for such a grand gesture of friendship feel free to donate to my American Heart Walk page. :)

**Blogger note: I didn't use the words my friend in quotes because Ashley isn't a real friend or because I was too embarrassed to say I wanted to post this video in the blog. I did it because whenever she talks about any other friends outside of our circle she always says, "my friend" (insert name)... even after meeting and playing boardgames with Her Friend Charlotte she still continued to refer to her as "My Friend" Charlotte. It's a lovable quirk and I miss hearing it on a regular basis now that her and Matt live in Florida. (What are the odds of me still guilting a donation out of her after being a smartass?)

Sunday, April 3, 2011

A girl and her handsome men

Last year I introduced the world, or approximately 15 people, to the Handsome Men's Club fantasy baseball team and everywhere I went sport enthusiasts asked me, "How do you draft such a good looking team?"

Well, hold on tight readers, because I'm about to drop some drafting knowledge on you that will change your life.

When drafting a team solely based on looks, the internet is your best friend. Especially when you're an AL elitist and haven't been able to scout the NL players in person. Now, as you'll see as we go down the roster, you can't trust only one source. And by saying you can't trust one source, I mean, you can't trust the one image ESPN gives you in the draft room. It's a start, but it's not always accurate. You have to take advantage of Google Images and a little thing called Search Engine Optimization (SEO).

(Nerd Alert On) SEO is the process of improving the visibility of a website or web page in search engines via the "natural" or "organic" search results. (Nerd Alert Off)

If so, facto, if people are searching to see if a player has a girlfriend or wife, he is probably handsome, or makes a shitload of money. So, if I type in the player's name into the search field and a pre-populated suggestion of "Player Name girlfriend" or "Player Name wife" shows up, I have a contender.

Don't believe me? Try it out right now. First, do a google search for Joe Mauer. Now, do the same for Bartolo Colon.

See? Told you.

It's a science and an art. And I'm in the process of submitting it for a patent, so don't get any ideas of claiming the theory as your own.

Let's move on to the picture portion of this post, shall we?

Since this is year two of being in the league we got to select two players from last years roster as "keepers" for round 1 and 2. Two players clearly wanted it more than anyone else...

Round 1: Joe Mauer (C)
Definitely not just a face a mother could love. Le sigh.

Round 2: Brett Gardner (CF)
Steals my heart every time he steals a base.

Round 3: Chase Utley (2B) - currently sitting on the 15 day DL
Even with being on the DL and possibly not coming back until the All-star break, Chase Utley has a higher own percentage than last years 3rd round draft pick, Mark Teahen.

Round 4: Jacoby Ellsbury (CF)
That eye black really brings out the gold flecks in his brown eyes, don't you think?

Round 5: Grady Sizemore (CF) - currently on the 15 day DL
Grady's Ladies, rejoice! Grady has made it to it the upper echelon of fantasy baseball teams. It's just icing on the cake that Betty White's character on "Hot In Cleveland" is a fellow fan. As long as he steers clear of taking more Vanessa Hudgens-eqs photos we'll be just fine.

Round 6: Chase Headley (3B)
I love the excitement on his face after finding out he made the team!

Round 7: Joe Nathan (RP)
Enthusiasm and carisma, carisma, carisma.

Round 8: Billy Butler (1B)
I couldn't possibly have the HMC be sans Royal. Let's do this Big Donkey!

Round 9: Chad Billingsley (SP)
Kind of reminds me of Brian Bannister, let's hope he works out a little better than Banny did last season.

Round 10: Ian Desmond (SS)
The first of three smooth operators I drafted, he just looks like one doesn't he? Lucky for him, I hardly ever hear anything about the Washington Nationals so I'll have no idea if he's up to shenanigans behind my back or not.

Round 11: John Danks (SP)
I think I'm most excited about the return of this pitcher from last season's team.

Round 12: Garrett Jones (1B)
Great name. Great face.

Round 13: John Axford (RP)
It was around this time that the conversation in the draft room got started on crows (by me) and new team owner DJ distracted me with this awesome youtube video. Since I was preoccupied with the video I didn't consult google images for a second opinion on this guy. ESPN lead me to believe he looked like this.

When in actuality, he looks like a carnival worker. It is not a good sign when you start typing a players name in to google images and the most popular suggestion is "his name + mustache."

Round 14: John Jaso (C)
He more than makes up for the John Axford debacle of 2011.

Round 15: Ricky Romero (SP)
Smooth operator number two. Ay yi YI!

Round 16: A.J. Burnett (SP)
Nice skin tags.

Round 17: Bronson Arroyo (SP)
Last year I gave Mr. Arroyo a hard time for clearly losing a bet during the 2K10 photo day, but this year I think we can all agree, he got his "Redemption Photo."

Blogger's side note: Does anyone else think Mr. Red on Bronson's uniform looks like Mr. Met dressed up as one of the Mario Brothers?

Round 18: Ryan Raburn (LF)
Definitely considered an upgrade from the Detroit Tiger I had last season.

Round 19: Yunel Escobar (SS)
Jump on it!

Round 20: Edwin Jackson (SP)
Smooth operator number three. Warning: do not stare directly into his eyes, you'll fall in love.

Round 21: Rick Porcello
Adorable and half responsible for the great bench clearing of 2009. It would be a dream come true if one of my players was responsible for a bench clearing this season.

Round 22: Brandon League (RP)
This was a borderline Axford fiasco repeat, but luckily I stumbled upon this awesome photo of him and his hair.

Round 23: Skip Schumaker (2B)
This great find is couresty of some scouting done last season by my dear friend Darcie Brownback. Mother may I, right?

Round 24: Kevin Kouzmanoff (3B)
Look at that smile.

I seem to be incapable of drafting a completely healthy team, so much like last year, I had to bring in some extra help.

Coco Crisp (OF) - I love his name and even though he was kind of a big bust the one year he was a Royal, I still think he's got the handsome man swagger.

Ty Wiggington (1B, 2B, 3B) - He's so versatile how can he not be considered handsome?

And that, ladies and gents, is the starting roster for Handsome Men's Club 2K11. We look forward to entertaining you throughout the baseball season and hope to not come in last place.