3:16 - Day 15

Day 15: Bible verse

John 3:16 - For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life.

I know... I know...

This verse either reminds you of the wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin or seems like the easy answer because it's the most popular/recognizable bible verse in the history of favorite bible verses. You might be thinking, "Oh, she's catholic, she doesn't read the bible so that's why this is her 'favorite' verse." Two years ago you would have had something. (By the way, Mom hates it when I joke about catholics not having to read the bible.) But, I think the reason I wouldn't have claimed this as my favorite bible verse before is because I hadn't realized the truth in it yet.

As most of you know, my dad had a very quick and difficult battle with cancer. In the two months that he fought I received two, "It's not good, you might want to come home" phone calls. That's four hours in a car, each time, driving down the road wondering what will be there when I arrive.

At the very end, my family and I spent night and day at the hospital for four days. Each of us taking turns sleeping in various positions in a recliner, couch, roll-away bed or chair next to dad's bed. I probably would have done that forever if it meant I got to keep him here, but that was me being selfish.

The last night that he was with us here on Earth, that verse kept running through my head. "For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life." Three o'clock in the morning, with my head on his bed, holding his hand, listening to his raspy breathing, crying. In hindsight, probably one of the first times my heart was truly breaking. I was struggling with questions like, If God loves me so much why would he do this? Why would he let Dad suffer? Why would he let us live in a world were such feelings even existed?

And then it dawned on me.

God himself has felt this exact same heartbreak. "he gave his only Son." He knew exactly how my heart was feeling. Who better to turn to? He let His one and only Son be crucified on a cross so that some day a sinner like me, imperfect and too smart-mouthed for my own good, could join him for eternal life in Heaven. He knew I'd disappoint him, act ungrateful, fall down, repent and repeat. Yet He still loved me enough to make that sacrifice.

It's humbling to realize that kind of love.

Certainly, that night was difficult, but learning to live again afterwards was just as hard, if not harder. After all, the world is short one of my most favorite people in the whole world. But I keep this revelation close, believe with all my heart that Dad is home with God and trust some day we will be joined  together again in eternal glory.