A league of my own

How do you suck all the fun out of playing fantasy baseball? I don't know, I only seem to be able to enhance the experience for everyone in my league.

Last week I took part in the live draft for my first ever fantasy baseball team. My goal: draft the best looking team. How successful was I? Well, turns out some of the super good looking players are actually good so they got snatched up before I could get them, but all in all I'd let every single one of my players buy me a cola slushy at QT.

Without further ado, I'm happy to present The Handsome Men's Club team (as of 4/13/10)

Round 1: Joe Mauer (C)

I think it's pretty apparent why I called "DIBS" on this one first.

Round 2: Justin Morneau (1B)

I definitely caught some flack from the competition on this early draft.

Round 3: Mark Teahen (3B, OF)

This got a "Oh my gosh, Erin Garrett you crack me up!" from team owner Rebecca Schlegel, but as an avid watcher of The Mark Teahen Show, hosted by Mark Teahen, I had to pick my favorite former Royal. Plus isn't it customary for players to blow up after the Royals trade them?

Round 4: Josh Beckett (SP)

Nice teeth + little scruff = welcome to the team, Josh.

Round 5: Jhonny Peralta (SS)

Bringing in some latin heat (the dominican republic is considered latin, right?)

Round 6: Johnny Damon (LF)

Another former Royal, and let me say this draft would not have happen if he was still rocking the Geico Caveman/Billy Ray Cyrus look.

Round 7: Aaron Hill (2B) - currently sitting on the 15 day DL

The word adorable comes to mind.

Round 8: Joakim Soria (RP)

The drinking portion of the draft must of started kicking in at this point, but I still think "Jack" fills my "cute" quota needed to keep the HMC well-rounded. Trust me, the more saves he gets the cuter he is.

Round 9: Todd Helton (1B)

Are you burly and capable of striking a badass glamour shot pose? Then welcome aboard big fella.

Round 10: Carlos Gomez (CF)

If I were his agent I'd be working on getting him a Crest endorsement, look at that million dollar smile.

Round 11: Carlos Beltran (CF) - currently sitting on the 15 day DL

Class and sophistication.

Round 12: Casey Blake (3B)

Dodgers! Give Casey a high five if you think he's good looking. Alright!

Round 13: Rick Ankiel (CF)

Former Card. Current Royal. Let's hope he comes out to take a lot more bows for grand slams while wearing royal blue, cause this is a good look on him.

Round 14: John Danks (SP)

At this point I was just taking the highest ranked pitcher, but it looks like we're both excited to have him on the team. Win-win situation.

Round 15: Jorge Pasada (C)

If my season goes too far south before the All-Star break I think I'm going to start collecting catchers.

Round 16: J.A. Happ (SP)

Looks good from here.

Round 17: Mike Gonzalez (RP)

We needed some more facial hair on the team and I like the precision this guy brings to facial grooming.

Round 18: Leo Nunez (RP)

Chest bump for picking yet another former Royal.

Round 19: Bronson Arroyo (SP)

If you can still look pretty cute with that vertical eyebrow on your chin, long hair and goofy 1970's grade school picture pose, you've got the potential for greatness on the HMC team. Seriously, what was the MLB thinking when they took some of the 2K10 photos? I'm thinking he lost a bet of some sort.

Round 20: Brian Bannister aka "Banny" (SP)

His glove brings out his gorgeous blue eyes.

Round 21: Juan Rivera (LF)

Honestly, at this point in the draft I had lost all interest and while dorking around I managed to run out of time on the clock and this is who I got...I'm a little concerned that the best photo is of him with a hat and sunglasses on, but with a smile like that I'm very hopeful. Then again, he could be the Marla Hooch to my Jimmy Dugan.

Round 22: Kevin Gregg (RP)

Gives a good profile shot. Which any Top Model judge will tell you is good to have in your wheelhouse.

Since I managed to draft two players on the DL here is who I've called up while they are on reassignment.

Chris Getz (2B) - Somebody should really stop me from picking Royals for this team, but hey, when you're good looking, you're good looking.

Chris Young (OF) - I saw a number in the RBI column that I liked and went for it...looks like he's genuinely surprised to be on the team and that kind of humility will get you everywhere with the ladies.

It didn't workout this year for the following players to be on my Handsome Men's Club team, but hold your heads high, you're on my radar and I'm coming for you (Chase Utley, David Wright, Dustin Pedroia, Evan Longoria, Gordon Beckham, Matt Holliday and Grady Sizemore) next year if your current owner doesn't call dibs first.