Type F personality - Day 22

Day 22: What's in your purse?

I know there's such a thing as a Type A personality, which I am definitely not. Is there a Type F? If so, the F probably stands for Freaking Disaster and this post is about to reveal that I'm it's poster child.

So here's my purse.

Here's the pile of crap when it first gets dumped on the ground.

Here's the pile of crap sorted out...it's about to get really real, people.

Ok, so here's what we've got, starting at the bottom and working our way counter-clockwise-ish.

• wallet
• empty travel size saline solution that I use as eye drops because I won't buy eyedrops for contact wearers
• one splenda packet
• wedding program my sister gave me as inspiration/encouragement for starting a wedding invite/paper junk side business
• allergy meds from Walgreens
• nice pen 
• keycard for work
• pile of receipts that I typically leave in my purse until I file in my trash can
• player rewards card from Boot Hill Casino in Dodge City, KS (last used mid-July)
• two grocery lists
• 3 paid bills from last month
• Oklahoma Joe's menu
• Sweet Baby Jesus, a dirty pizza cutter wrapped in a Walmart sack (from Friday when I took fruit pizza to work)
• iPod Nano 
• K-State pen
• bread bag clip

Thank God I didn't try to go through airport security with this purse in the last 4 days.  It's really only a matter of time before my laziness puts me in jail or on a Dateline TV special.

And we're off! - Day 1

Ok, here I am, going strong on the 30-day blog challenge. Today's topic?

Day 1: Introduce, recent picture of yourself, 15 interesting facts.

Ok, well, I pretty much feel like yesterday's blog was an adequate introduction to this bit. so....CHECK!

(see i told you they should have given me credit for Day 0)

ok, what's next? Recent picture of yourself. well, this is about as recent as you can get.



I just got done playing softball and drinking celebratory beers. No, we didn't win, in fact, this was our worse season since we started back in '05, but tonight's game was a lot of fun.

ok, recent picture? CHECK!

15 interesting facts.

about me?

ugh. That's pushing it, I'm not sure I can handle that. Let's go half and half. Tonight I'll share credit with this site on fun facts.

Ok, in no particular order.

1. I used to be afraid of trains. Afraid as in I was convinced that a train was going to deliver my ultimate demise. We lived less than a block away from the train tracks and my super sonic hearing could hear a train whistle at least 8 miles away. My fear was cured when they taught me about the caboose. Why don't trains have cabooses anymore?
2. Hippo milk is pink. I adore hippos.
3. Just before the US started bombing Baghdad, nearly $1 billion dollars was stolen from the Central Bank of Iraq and is now the largest bank robbery in history. Also, right before the US started bombing Baghdad, I was in Las Vegas getting ready to board a Southwest Airlines flight back to KC with my friends Alison and Cindy. United Airlines canceled our original flight and I haven't flown them since.
4. I made my national tv debut on January 2, 2004 during K-State's loss to Ohio State in the Fiesta Bowl. This is also the same weekend that I figured out how to ask for the beer garden in Spanish, “Donde esta jardin de cerveza?”
5. Scientists aren't sure what color dinosaurs were.
6. Up until about 2nd grade when I had my tonsils taken out, I was convinced onions gave me strep throat. If I ever have children there’s a high likelihood half of them will be mini-hypochondriacs.
7. I love daydreaming.
8. Back in 2004/5 I invented a game called "Yassar or a Cow." It's wildly unpopular, but I love it. Basically, you ask people who they would rather be in a situation with......Yassar Arafat or a cow. At Katie and Todd's wedding, Kristin's husband Matt asked me who I would have liked to brought as a date. I said, "Oh, I wasn't given plus guest." (like that was my only deterrent...taking dates to weddings is like a babysitting job you don't get paid for). To which Matt replied, "Yeah, but if you could, would you have brought Yassar?" "Yes, absolutely." Kristin, being the dark cloud that rains on my parade said, "Yeah, his dead moldy corpse would have been a lot of fun." me: "Uhhh, yeah, Weekend at Bernie's 1 and Weekend at Bernie's 2."
9. More than ten people a year are killed by vending machines.
10. I'm a sucker for tv shows that let you download music from each episode. FOX and NBC saw me coming from a mile away.
11. The zip code 12345 is assigned to General Electric in Schenectady, New York.
12. I dressed as Steven Q. Eurkle for Halloween in the 2^nd or 3^rd grade. Now-a-days it probably would have been racially insensitve for a little white girl to do that, but my impression of his laugh and signature phrase “Did I do that?” was so spot on I think it made it ok. I won first place in the costume contest at school.
13. There are more plastic flamingos in the US than real ones. 40 of them are in my brother Brian's shed.
14. The oldest patented company logo is the red triangle of Bass beers.
15. The KC star linked to my blog in an article that talked about Betty White. I'm credible if nothing else, right?

Well, I don't know about you readers, but I feel informed and entertained now. You're welcome.

15 interesting facts...CHECK!

WEATHER, AHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Facebook is ruining me. I've said it before in regards to my ever declining empathy for extremists who bitch about everylittleeffingthing or those who gross me out with their incessant proclamation of love and blessedness on a tri-daily basis, but now it's getting serious. Weather forecasts of any noted severity turn my Facebook home page into a who's who of Chicken Little's giving me more conflicting dooms day exaggerations then I can keep up with.

Last night, for example, at least 10 people in the KC metro area would like to have had me believe I was going to wake up to 18" of ice and 42" of snow barricading me in my home. When in reality there was no snow and no ice, just some light misting all day long and a cold temperature of 28 degrees.

Instead of hiding these "friends" or not reading Facebook on an hourly basis or watching the weather reports on tv for myself, I choose to bitch about these people on my blog and avoid the grocery store so I don't chance being categorized as a "preparer."

Apocalypses were designed to take people like me out. There is a possible foot of snow lurking in my very immediate future and I've chosen to meet it head on with one roll of toilet paper, a package of refrigerated chocolate chip cookie dough and a bad attitude. This should be fun.

If I get a paid day off from work because of the snow I promise to do an equally entertaining blog that is pro-snow.

Buyer's remorse

We all knew this day would come. The day when I regretted buying my Civic. Show of hands though, who knew it'd be because of the sound the horn makes?

That's right.

The horn.

I'm not a violent person by nature. Sure I can mouth off when provoked and "accidentally" kicked Becca in the head that one time, but 50% of the time my gut reaction is not to strike. That is, unless I'm on the road. Suburban driving brings out the worse in me and it's like idiot drivers are bred here.

The two left lanes on north bound Antioch have been left turn lanes only, to west bound 435 for easily the last 2 years. Still, at least once a week there is some jackhole that "misses" the 18,000 signs telling them they are in a turn lane. Said jackhole then proceeds to hangout in the middle of the intersection, waits until I'm driving over the bridge at 40 mph and then tries to cut back into the lane, right in front of me.

My natural reaction to this is to ride their bummer and lay on my horn until it's time for me to turn into my condo complex in about 50 feet. How else will they learn?

With the Stratus, the sound produced by my horn matched what I was feeling and yelling inside my car. If that feeling were represented as a cartoon character it'd be Bluto, from Popeye.

However, in the Civic I now sound like Wade the Duck, from Garfield and Friends, wetting himself.

If the Dukes of Hazzard can have a custom horn, then so will I.

So. Will. I.