I'm sure there are worse things for me to look forward to - Day 17

Day 17: Something you're looking forward to

That's easy, retirement. I'm always looking forward to retirement.

It's still some 36 years away, but I daydream of it often.

I imagine my retirement will look something like The Golden Girls, meets Wings, meets Designing Women.

Yeah, I'll either retire in Miami with a group of friends ...



get a part-time gig conning Christmas presents out of unsuspecting travelers in a small Nantucket airport...



or be insightful like Bernice when properly medicated.



There's a slight chance my perception of retirement has been based on tv sitcoms from the late 1980's/early 1990's.

Trash chutes and ladders - Day 16

Day 16: Dream house

First and foremost, if we're talking dream home, it has to be a self-cleaning home. I HATE anything remotely related to housekeeping/household chores.

What next? Big enough to have friends and family over for parties and fun.

But not so big that I get lost in it.

A wrap-around porch would be totally sweet.

Definitely needs a nice view...

A badass backyard complete with outdoor kitchen, fire pit and outdoor seating.

Oh, the backyard also needs enough room for a big puppy to have fun.

Inside? I like a nice sized open kitchen with island/breakfast bar and appliance garage. 

A jacuzzi bathtub...

OH with a giant flat screen tv in front of it.

And probably a home theater for good measure too.

Oh, and I really liked it in college when my house had a trash chute, so that would be pretty essential too...so long as it wasn't just an open window I'm throwing trash bags down like it was back then.

3:16 - Day 15

Day 15: Bible verse

John 3:16 - For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life.

I know... I know...

This verse either reminds you of the wrestler Stone Cold Steve Austin or seems like the easy answer because it's the most popular/recognizable bible verse in the history of favorite bible verses. You might be thinking, "Oh, she's catholic, she doesn't read the bible so that's why this is her 'favorite' verse." Two years ago you would have had something. (By the way, Mom hates it when I joke about catholics not having to read the bible.) But, I think the reason I wouldn't have claimed this as my favorite bible verse before is because I hadn't realized the truth in it yet.

As most of you know, my dad had a very quick and difficult battle with cancer. In the two months that he fought I received two, "It's not good, you might want to come home" phone calls. That's four hours in a car, each time, driving down the road wondering what will be there when I arrive.

At the very end, my family and I spent night and day at the hospital for four days. Each of us taking turns sleeping in various positions in a recliner, couch, roll-away bed or chair next to dad's bed. I probably would have done that forever if it meant I got to keep him here, but that was me being selfish.

The last night that he was with us here on Earth, that verse kept running through my head. "For God loved the world so much that he gave his only Son, so that everyone who believes in him may not die but have eternal life." Three o'clock in the morning, with my head on his bed, holding his hand, listening to his raspy breathing, crying. In hindsight, probably one of the first times my heart was truly breaking. I was struggling with questions like, If God loves me so much why would he do this? Why would he let Dad suffer? Why would he let us live in a world were such feelings even existed?

And then it dawned on me.

God himself has felt this exact same heartbreak. "he gave his only Son." He knew exactly how my heart was feeling. Who better to turn to? He let His one and only Son be crucified on a cross so that some day a sinner like me, imperfect and too smart-mouthed for my own good, could join him for eternal life in Heaven. He knew I'd disappoint him, act ungrateful, fall down, repent and repeat. Yet He still loved me enough to make that sacrifice.

It's humbling to realize that kind of love.

Certainly, that night was difficult, but learning to live again afterwards was just as hard, if not harder. After all, the world is short one of my most favorite people in the whole world. But I keep this revelation close, believe with all my heart that Dad is home with God and trust some day we will be joined  together again in eternal glory.

DIBS! "Celebrity Edition" - Day 14

Day 14: Celebrity crush

Talk about a topic I can get on board with.

So many choices....

A sunflower iron-on bedazzlement will be awarded to the first reader who can correctly identify all ten celebrities or be the first to introduce me to one of the celebrity crushes.

I know I should have fixed my hair, removed the folded towels from behind me or at the very least done a less crappy photoshop job on this picture, but I'm too busy laughing at this to care.

Fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life - Day 13

Day 13: Goals

Seriously, how am I only on day 13 of this blog challenge? It feels like I've been doing this for 78 days.

I'm sure the originator of this topic list meant for me to talk about my goals to make me a better person, the world a better place and blah, but that's not really my thing. I put real effort into not telling people my goals until I hit them.

It limits liability.

Manages perception.

All that good stuff.

This blog challenge is a perfect example of what I generally try to avoid. If I hadn't told all 18 of you that I was going to do this thing I could just go back to being an absentee blogger or at least skip these lame-o topic days that do not interest me. Instead, I live with the guilt that if I bail on this y'alls will hold it over my head.

Which reminds me...

Way to bail on the 30-day blog challenge, Taddy Long Legs!

Sorry, where was I?

Oh yeah, goals = guilt.

But, for those of you who were hoping I put more effort and less smartass in this, here is a list of "goals" I want to or have accomplished in the recent past.

• Witness a real life bench clearing at a professional game, most likely baseball or hockey.
• Get back to my workout routine I had in 2009.
• Make one of the delicious dishes I have tagged from the Olive cookbook Becca bought me.
• Become a boss before 30. (check)
• Visit all 50 states in the US.
• Learn how to "dougie."
• See Eddie Money live in concert (check and check)
• Fix my stupid living room wall.
• Buy grown-up living room furniture since I've been lead to believe, by more than one person, that my idea of buying Furniture Fix for my couch is not what people call a "good idea." 

Even Dean Wormer would be proud of my ambition.

Music Monday

I dare you to not want to do the "Carlton Dance" while listening to this song.



Urkel gets close more than a few times.

Bottoms are good - Day 12

Day 12: Something you don't leave the house without

Ack! This post topic is nearly as boring as that first love one.

I guess if I'm being super literal, I'd have to say underwear. Does that make anyone uncomfortable? Seems silly if it does. I mean, wouldn't it be more unsightly the other way around? Oh wait, maybe this is why they are sometimes referred to as unmentionables...whoopsies.

I don't really have allegiance to any one product like American Express and I'm too poor to pay for something designer that would warrant flaunting every time I left home. I'm just enough scatter-brained that I'll leave home forgetting something and just convincing lazy enough to decide I don't want to turn back around and get it.

So yeah, this seems like the most appropriate response to this topic.

Honestly, sometimes I can't believe you people read this garbage.

Who's that 10, with the 6, that thinks she's a 9? - Day 11

Day 11: Favorite TV shows

It's no secret, I love tv.

Among my favorites: Big Bang Theory, Friends, Hawaii 5-0, The Tudors, The Golden Girls, Hot in Cleveland, CSI: New York and since it's summer and nothing new is on, my newest favorite show is The New Adventures of Old Christine. The show is only on in syndication now, but I adore it. Julia Louis-Dreyfus is a comical genius.

Enjoy some clips, won't you?





Apparently, some people want to be stingy with their video sharing on the youtube, so you'll have to click below to watch some other hilarious clips if you haven't had enough.

This one is good.

So is this one, too.

Fraidy cat - Day 10

Day 10: Something you're afraid of

The angler fish.

Some of you might recognize this monster as the scary ass, spiky, lightbulb fish from Finding Nemo.

Computer animated or real life, I don't like it at all.

ICK! Gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Just as scary, but not as likely to face in real life, Gargamel, from The Smurfs...

...and the Wicked Witch of the West, from Wizard of Oz.

Actually, after further consideration, I might just be afraid of ugly.

Walrus Mustache - Day 9

Day 9: A favorite picture of your best friend

First off, let's get something straight. I do not ascribe to the idea that a person can only have "a = one" best friend. Most likely because when I was in grade school none of my friends ever gave me the second half to the best friend heart necklace.

(insert sounds of pity here)

There were 5 girls in my 4th grade class....4 of them had half of a necklace.

That's right.

(go ahead and make more pity sounds here, I don't mind.)

Labeling a best friend can be hurtful. Especially when the two best friends get in a fight and the other one returns the half necklace in an envelop, via a really cute brown hair-brown eyed, 3rd party under the tractor tires during recess. I'm no dummy, as soon as I delivered that envelop to Rachel I didn't want to be near one of those things.

Ergo, I believe all my friends are the best, so I couldn't possibly spotlight just one friend. But I absolutely have a favorite photo series with a friend.

Enter, the Garrett/Gleason Walrus Mustache collection.

It all started at a New Years Eve celebration. We had reached the point in the evening where every second was a photo op. I grabbed two stick pretzels to become a walrus and Amanda Gleason promptly eclipsed me by giving herself a pretzel mustache.

The year was 2008.

Then in 2009 at the Schicks' wedding we had...

The warm up...

And then probably the two greatest versions ever captured, where we more than quadrupled the prop size from 2008.

In 2010, Gleason dragged me to a Gov't Mule concert and their repetitive garbage music caused me to forget about taking our special photo. So, like any good friend, I've enhanced a photo for our 2010 moment in time.

Sometimes the good ideas are just right in front of you, aren't they?

Colorado dreaming - Day 8

Day 8: A place you've traveled to

While all of my travels have been exclusively domestic and nearly always centered around where friends live, I've seen some pretty, interesting and odd places. The heat and drought must be getting to me, because I've chosen to spotlight Dream Lake, which is part of Rocky Mountain National Park in Colorado.

Water, blue and green never looked so good.

I'd probably require a mini oxygen mask to do the hike to get there now, but it's almost worth it, don't you think?

I like when she goes bah, bah, bah, bah, bah. - Day 7

Day 7: Favorite Movies

I gotta be honest, I have a lot of favorite movies. How many movies am I suppose to list here? I guess I'll go until I get tired or run out of titles.

Troop Beverly Hills

National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation

The Departed

Elf

Sweet Home Alabama

McLintock!

Anchorman

The Proposal

Young Frankenstein

Pride & Prejudice

The Unsinkable Molly Brown

It Happen One Night

House Bunny

An Affair to Remember

Easy A

Miracle

Say Anything

A League of Their Own

Hangover

Talladega Nights

27 Dresses

Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead

Gidget

Breakfast at Tiffany's

Adventures in Babysitting

Seven Brides for Seven Brothers

And finally...

The.

Best.

Movie.

Ever.

Made.

In.

The.

History.

Of.

Movie.

Making.

OVERBOARD

"Hey TRAV, don't knock her up!" ha! classic. never gets old.

Josie's on a vacation far away - Day 6

Day 6: A picture of something that makes you happy

People say it's the little things in life that mean the most. I suppose that's not true for all people, especially if you're referring to diamond rings or raises, but for me it definitely is. I get excited about the goofiest and smallest things.

For all the TMI and annoying things facebook and other social networking sites bring directly into our computer screens and mobile phones in an instant, they also make the art of sending a quick, "I'm thinking of you" note as easy as it could possibly be.

For instance, take today, I got the below message from my friend Kara.

This is a three-pronged happy feeling photo:

1. It's nice to know when people are thinking about me. It feeds my already blossoming ego.
2. I have officially played a fairly "sizable" role in her four-year old son, Max's life. I put The Outfield's "Your Love" on a mixed cd I sent her and as you can see, Max can accurately identify this song in public and LIKES it. Seriously amazing. I also really can't wait until the day I get to hear Max sing the line, "You know I like my girls a little bit older."
3. I'm synonymous with The Golden Girls. Who doesn't want that!??!

So there you go. An email, text, facebook message, blog comment, signing telegram, hand-written note or phone call goes a long ways in making me smile and brightening my day.

Brighten someone's day this week!